


I Guess I Love You (Or Something)

by 0ceansgayt



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bemily Week, F/F, Friends With Benefits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 01:04:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13987134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ceansgayt/pseuds/0ceansgayt
Summary: Friends with benefits aren’t supposed to be anything more than friends who sometimes have sex...and sometimes cuddle.Beca has a bad habit of sleeping with various members of the Bellas - until she catches feelings for Emily, that is.





	I Guess I Love You (Or Something)

**Author's Note:**

> BEMILY WEEK DAY 5 WOOT WOOT 
> 
> review please, darlings xoxo

Emily laid in bed, propped up on her elbows with the comforter tucked tightly around her body. She was staring Beca down, an amused smirk forming across her lips as she watched the other woman dance around the room in attempt to jump into her skinny jeans.

“Ha fucking ha, Junk. Seriously, get dressed! They’re going to be-“

“Home in a few, I know.” She rolled off of the bed, locating her sweatpants and stepping into them with much more grace than Beca was managing. “Why don’t we just tell them?”

Beca paused for a moment, head cocked in confusion, before staring at Emily with her mouth agape. She shook her head, brows furrowing slightly. “Absolutely not. What am I supposed to say? Hey guys, I’m having sex with Emily but it’s not like that because I don’t have feelings for her? Somehow I don’t see that going well.”

There was a tense silence in the room now, Emily redressing as fast as she could before grabbing her phone and turning back to the older woman.

“Yeah, that. No feelings.” Emily murmured, hand on the doorknob. She began to leave the room but stopped, hand tossed up. “I’ll see you tonight. Practice.”

Beca wasn’t even able to respond before Emily was gone, shoulders sagging. The usual pep in her step was lacking, something Beca noticed came when she said there were no feelings attached. But there weren’t any, right?

Shaking her head, she descended down the stairs and into the kitchen to wait on the other Bellas, busying herself with cooking dinner, her usual Thursday night task.

The rest of the women filtered in, chatting animatedly about whatever dumb movie they had seen that day, Chloe hand in hand with Stacie. Beca murmured soft responses, probably sounding nonsensical to the other Bellas, engrossed in her cooking.

It was Aubrey’s comment that caught her off guard, the older woman perched delicately on a bar stool while she stared Beca down. “Where’s Emily?”

Beca hadn’t noticed her absence - the younger Bella was usually the quietest, working on some project or with her headphones in bopping along to her music. She shook her head, furrowing her brows as she thought of where the other woman could have been. Maybe she had a makeup class?

That had to be it.

“Uh, makeup class? I don’t know, I’m not her mom.”

The statement had Aubrey jumping out of her stool and towering over Beca with a look that wasn’t entirely human - mostly demonic, if you had to ask the younger woman. Aubrey took Beca’s spoon from her hand and shook it threateningly, the other Bellas quieting in an attempt to hear the exchange.

“Listen, you hobbit, I might not be a Bella anymore, but I’m still your fucking captain. I know Emily and I broke up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about her - and whatever the hell you two are up to, she cares about you. Don’t you dare hurt her.”

With that, Aubrey turned sharply on her heel, tossing Beca’s spoon onto the counter. The younger woman was left dumbfounded, mouth opening and closing as she fought to find the right words. She decided not to say anything at all and simply focus on cooking, hoping the other Bellas didn’t hear much of what was said.

“Oh yeah, you might want to stop sleeping with other Bellas.” Aubrey snarked, lips curling up in a smirk.

Aubrey was right, Beca had a bad habit of sleeping with people she shouldn’t. First there was Aubrey, then Chloe, then Stacie - and don’t even get her started on how weird it was that Stacie and Chloe were dating now - and finally, Emily.

Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth as she looked between all of the Bellas, who were now staring at her - all with the exception of Aubrey, of course, who was looking down at her book with a little smirk.

Bitch.

Beca threw her hands in the air, eyes darting between the group of women staring at her. “Okay, I haven’t slept with that many Bellas!”

“You slept with me.” Aubrey pointed out, never tearing her eyes from her book. Her smirk grew wider and Beca wasn’t sure what she wanted more - to hide or punch Aubrey.

Fat Amy cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders, looking up at Beca apologetically. “No offense, Shawshank, but I wouldn’t sleep with ya if I had to choose between you and the dingo.”

Flo nodded, humming in agreeance. Beca was almost offended, but she smirked nonetheless.

“If I wasn’t clear, I’d have chosen the dingo.”

Chloe snorted - a literal fucking snort - her arm encircling Stacie’s waist and head leaning into the taller woman’s chest. She looked up at her girlfriend before looking back to Beca with an apologetic smile, one shoulder shrugging. “Well, we both slept with you...but look where it got us!”

Beca rolled her eyes watching Stacie lean down and messily kiss the redhead. Sure, they were cute, but really? Did they just have to tell everyone her personal business?

“We haven’t.” Jessica murmured, too quiet for anyone else to hear. Or was it Ashley? She never really knew with those two.

With a huff, Beca looked to the group of women before her, hands going akimbo as she narrowed her eyes in a way that would have been menacing if she didn’t just simultaneously come out and admit to having had sex with several Bellas.

“Does anyone else have anything to add?” She was exasperated now, head cocked as she spoke. If it were possible, smoke would be billowing from her ears.

Lilly’s mouth was moving, but no sound was heard. By the looks of it, the rest of the Bellas were as confused as she was. Amy, of course, spoke up while gesturing to Lilly. “I imagine she’s saying that she’s done the clam tango with you too, but I’m not sure. Doesn’t seem like your type.”

Beca breathed a sigh of relief when Lilly shook her head, having thankfully been saved from that rumor going around - not that the other rumors were any better. And really, were they rumors when they were true?

Grumbling, Beca went back to her cooking as conversation picked up in the room - some dumb argument in which Amy was accusing Flo of taking her snack cakes. She could have sworn that she heard snickering from somewhere in the room, but couldn’t quite place who it was.

As she cooked, she thought about what Aubrey had said.

Maybe she had begun to develop feelings for Emily that manifested themselves in unconventional ways. It wasn’t so much in an all consuming romantic way, but Beca couldn’t imagine her life without the younger woman, actively going out of her way to make her happy.

She flicked off the stove with more aggression than intended, turning sharply to the room full of women. “Dinner’s done. Don’t wait on me.” It was more gruff than intended, turning on her heel to stalk out of the room.

Something caught her sleeve, and she looked down to find Aubrey’s eyes boring into hers. The older woman looked softer than usual, her eyes kind and smile genuine - something so rare in her that it almost shocked Beca.

She still couldn’t help the hateful response that fell snarkily from her lips. “Don’t lecture me, Posen, I realize that I’m a dickwad.”

“I’m not going to lecture you...go get your girl, Mitchell.” Her voice was soft, fingers uncurling from Beca’s sleeve as she gestured for the other woman to leave.

——

Beca’s feet ached by the time she reached the library, Emily’s usual hideout when she was upset or stressed out. It was the only explanation for her absence, the younger woman usually loving when Beca cooked.

The bus had been a few minutes late and Beca was kicking herself for not taking her car, but she wouldn’t face the embarrassment of walking back into the house after her keys. She also didn’t want to chicken out and stay home, knowing that if she didn’t say something now, she probably never would.

Pausing in the entryway, Beca’s eyes scanned the heads sitting at the tables in the center of the room. None of them were tall enough to have been Emily, so she jogged up the stairs to the second floor.

That was where Beca and Emily usually studied together, usually ending up just listening to music and laughing about the stupidest things. The thought filled Beca’s heart with warmth despite the chill of the air outside, and she finally questioned her feelings for the first time.

It was love. It had always been love.

She moved through the aisles with precision and ease, finally spotting a tall brunette huddled up on the floor amongst some novels. It seemed that she was engrossed in whatever she was reading, but Beca could hear the familiar sniffles from where she was standing across the room.

“Em?” Her voice was gentle, quiet enough to be minding the library rules but loud enough for the younger woman to hear her.

The head perked up and it was, in fact, Emily. Her eyes were red rimmed with tears, some slowly sliding down her cheeks. Beca felt her heart shatter at the sight - she caused that with her heartless actions earlier in the evening.

The thought of hurting Emily in any way was enough to bring tears to Beca’s eyes. She moved over to the younger woman and sat beside her, sliding her hand out and leaving it palm up, waiting for Emily to take it.

“Beca?”

She nodded, wiggling her fingers and smiling softly when Emily slid her hand into Beca’s own. There was a beat of silence between them, Beca resting her head on Emily’s shoulder.

Finally, she decided that it was about time to break the silence, both women fidgeting. Emily was fingering the page of her book and Beca’s knee was bouncing wildly. With a sigh, she squeezed Emily’s hand. “What’re you reading?”

“Go Set A Watchman. Harper Lee.”

Beca hummed, taking the book and scanning the back of it for a moment. She nodded in approval before setting the book back in Emily’s lap.

“You didn’t come here to talk about books, did you?”

Emily usually took the lead in conversations, Beca being too awkward to speak most of the time. She nodded, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. “I didn’t.”

“Then get on with it, I don’t think I can wait any longer.” She let out a breathy laugh, the sound simultaneously filling Beca’s heart with a sense of endearment yet also sadness at the nervousness behind the tone.

It was hard for Beca to connect with people, that wasn’t an unknown fact. Chloe had been the first to point it out, further explained by Stacie when she decided to pry into Beca’s life. She said it was due to the childhood trauma of her father leaving her and her mother being gone so often, but it didn’t excuse the fact that it impacted her life drastically.

She wanted desperately to open up to Emily, to tell her everything and why she was such an emotionally stunted dickwad, but the words just didn’t come. Her mouth opened and closed for a moment, only incoherent sounds coming out before she stopped and took a breath, steadying herself.

“I’ve really enjoyed our um, time as friends with benefits, but…” She stared, stomach flipping. Beca Mitchell didn’t often feel nervousness, but emotions weren’t her strong suit, and the look on Emily’s face didn’t help at all.

“But you’re done, you want to break it off. I caught feelings and you don’t want to do it. So yeah, it’s cool.” Emily snatched her hand away, tone bitter. She made no move to pack up and leave, though, a part of herself wanting to stay and wait to see what Beca had to say in response.

Tears welled up in the older woman’s eyes, hand snatching Emily’s again and holding it firmly. “Can you let me finish, god damn it?”

“I...guess.”

“Fuck, okay.” Beca let out a breath she wasn’t aware that she was holding, free hand reaching up to run through her slightly damp hair. “I’m not good with words or emotions. I can mix songs and find ones that feel the same things that I do, but I didn’t have time to do that. I’m emotionally stunted and I don’t know what to do a lot of the time.”

“You don’t say.” Emily snarked, smirk beginning to play on her lips. Beca felt a gentle squeeze on her hand, smiling when she realized that Emily wasn’t as mad as before.

“And I wanted to tell you that I kind of like, love you. Or something.”

There was a long pause between the two women, Beca idly noticing that they were, in fact, in public with people staring at them. Not that she wasn’t okay with being with Emily publicly, she just didn’t want others overhearing their discussion.

After a long beat of silence, Emily let out a soft laugh and pulled Beca closer to her. “Or something? What is the something?”

“I guess it’s love mixed with wanting to kill you.” She deadpanned, rolling her eyes. Seriously, why the hell were emotions so freaking complicated? With a sigh, she tossed her head back and forth before finally deciding to speak. “So you can be my girlfriend, I guess.”

“You guess or you know?”

Okay, for real. Since when was Emily the master of sass? Obviously she learned from the queen of sass herself, but Beca didn’t appreciate the attitude in the least.

“Okay, okay. You can be my girlfriend if you want to be. That’s as close to me asking you as you’ll get, so enjoy it.”

There was a series of squeals coming from behind a rack of books, then giggles and shushing sounds. Emily seemed oblivious, while Beca shot up and around the corner to find Aubrey, Chloe, and Stacie trying to hide themselves behind books. They were giggling away, but stopped abruptly when they noticed a pair of shoes appearing in their line of vision.

“Are you for fucking real?”

“Aca fricken real, Beca.” Aubrey nodded, while Stacie and Chloe giggled alongside her.

“Why the fucking fuck are you three here?”

“We needed to see the cutest aca-couple get together! We’ve been waiting for like, ever.” This time Chloe spoke, head bobbing excitedly.

Beca was quiet for a moment, narrowing her eyes at the three women before her. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to control her anger before speaking.

“I’m going to give you ten seconds to scram before I kick all three of your aca-butts.” 


End file.
